A few times I have said to myself that when I have an interesting thought or musing that I should write it down so I would not forget to enter it in my blog. Well, guess what? I usually forget to write it down. By the time I do find time to write it down or even enter it here, the thought is gone. That gets a little frustrating at some point.
Yesterday I had some friends over to enjoy some wine and nibble. We were all women, so you can only imagine some of the things we talked about. During the course of the evening, R talked about her divorce and coming to the realization that she can’t deal with routine which is what happens in most marriages at some point. She found it interesting that during the divorce process when her soon-to-be ex-husband was trying to get her back, that it turned her on. Anyway, what I’m getting at is that this evening, as random thoughts came in and out of my mind, I came to a realization that I may be attracted to guys who are different and who, to me anyway, stand out.
I had a date on Friday. I found S on craigslist. I know, I know, am I desperate or what? No, I’m not desperate. If anything, I go through that site more out of curiosity than anything. Considering some of the respondents I had when I placed my ad last June, I probably would not want to respond to some of the ads placed in the M4W section. Anyway, the date went well. He seemed like a nice enough guy. But, as I was walking back to my car when the evening was over, I realized that he just did not excite me like T did. I mean, I guess there were enough common interests between S and me, but there’s just not that spark. And now I am at a bit of a quandary what to do next. S emailed me yesteday morning but I haven’t had a chane to write back yet. At the same time, I want to send T an email as well.
I had last sent T an email last weekend. I really did not expect a reply back and there was none. I suspect that he’s still dealing with his stuff. I also think that during this time, he’d rather put some distance between himself and other people. I would imagine it not easy to deal with what he’s going through more or less on his own. I’m sure his sister who lives here is around to give him a hand. I don’t know what close friends he has, but I’m sure they visit him. Then again, he did say that he hates the look in their eyes when they see him in such a state. One reason I haven’t written him yet is that I would so much like to write something to help boost his moral, but what to say? I’m sure he’s already heard enough times that he can beat it. I don’t want to say what’s probably been said to him so many times. I want to say something to him that would at least put a smile on his face, that there’s a glimmer of hope, that there’s something to look forward to, even if it’s the most simple of things in life.
This is when I wonder about my ability to write. Oftentimes, I feel that I lack imagination and creativity. I don’t think I have any problems writing what comes to mind. I think I’m just not good at conjuring up some sort of imagery using words. This is why I wonder about taking a course on creative writing. As if I didn’t already have enough to do right now.
I decided a couple of weeks ago to enroll in another online course. This time, I signed up for a certificate in Java Programming. I want to get that programming monkey off my back. I want to overcome this issue I have with not being able to really learn to program. I feel that since this is done at my own pace and at my own time that I would be better able to learn. From the other courses I have taken through O’Reilly, the exercises and tests given in each lesson are pretty good in getting me to think and figure things out. It’s only the first of 4 courses that I am working on now, so it’s mainly the beginner basics. Can’t wait to see what the later lessons and courses bring.
I guess I should head off to bed soon. I somehow ended up napping most of the evening. I think I crashed around 8PM and woke up close to 10:30PM. So yeah, I’m kind of wide awake still. It’s a bad habit to fall asleep on the couch like that, but I did not take an afternoon nap that I am prone to do most weekends. I did go for a walk earlier in the afternoon to the pharmacy to pick up a few things. The weather was not bad. It was sunny but a bit brisk.
I guess I really should write more.
